This is my story of why every girl should tear up her tear stained, never ending checklist in the search for her ‘ideal’ life partner!
I did the classic thing of meeting my husband through a mutual friend, but let me tell you now it was not love at first sight! More like 3rd….
We met on a night out with our mutual friend, when I gate crashed their boys night due to single life boredom!
He seemed alright but there was no instant love at first sight malarky we just got on like mates, plus it was my final year & I really had had enough of stupid men
fucking things up for me so I was on a boyfriend break!
So we met again a few weeks later on a similar night out & both ended up crashing at our mates – no not shagging! just me sleeping on the small sofa & my hubby- to- be being a gentleman by sleeping on the large one! Nice.
In the bright harsh light of Sunday morning I awoke to the delightful sight of him stumbling to the toilet in his pants. It was at this very moment that I thought ‘I would never date a man who wore such awful boxer shorts & clearly doesn’t care that he is wandering around in front of me in such minging pants;how rude.’ Apparently my checklist consisted of trendy pants! Shallow but true.
But if you’re truely honest with yourself, doesn’t your list contain some equally ridiculous & meaningless checkpoints?
After this rather harsh observation of the man i would marry 4years down the line, I soon got to know him a whole lot better. In October on a farewell do for a friend we ended up snogging all night in a bar & consequently had our first date the following week at Sinatras in Nottingham. Things developed & I fell madly & deeply in love with that same man I said I’d never date. 4 years on we had the most amazing Wedding day, promising to always remember the way we loved each other that day, for the rest of our lives.
I know how easy it is to dismiss the man who has some apparently glaring imperfections in the search for your prince charming but remember that prince charming comes in many forms. Are you really so perfect that you believe in a perfect partner?
My gorgeous hubby still wears crap pants but I fancy him more than ever & that’s because true love embraces all of a person & makes us realise that some things (laughter, friendship, support, respect…) outweigh even bad under garments!
MISS INDEPENDENT SAYS Might As Well Face It, I’m Addicted To Love…
I have been single for nearly 2 years now; yes there have been short lived affairs during my romantic dry spell, but nothing to write home about (well only on this blog) I am a sucker for love songs, rom coms and celebrities forming unlikely couples, which means I am constantly pulling a Lady GaGa and finding myself caught in a bad romance.
Some may say I am a drama queen, and when it comes to love I 100% agree with that accusation, but who wants a boring love life? Not me; I am after one filled with passion, randomness and tons of fun. Yes, I know I am not a Disney Princess or a TOWIE cast member (Mark Wright: call me…) but the thought of being in a boring stale relationship scares me more than being an eternally single lady.
So does my warped view of the romantic world constantly set me up for a fall into imminent heart break? I am guilty of judging a book by its cover, and have been in the same situation as Wedded Miss, where I hone in on the aspects of my potential mate that I do not like and somehow use them as reasons to put myself off them. It can be the way they laugh, those horrid loafers they decide to wear on a date or the fact that they resemble an Uncle at a wedding when they hit the dance floor.
Where does this idea of thinking stem from? I think it’s a mixture of having the notion of Prince Charming hammered into my mind from a young age; with the Prince being tall, dark, handsome and perfect, and also because I strive for perfection in everything I do. The way I see it is, there are a million and one things in life that will never be perfect, but I want my man and relationship to be one of them. But what’s perfect to me will not be perfect to Wedded Miss, so I set my own barrier of awesomeness and have a strict policy on who I let through.
I think my attitude has improved though, as if you line up all the men I have dated each one is clearly different from the other; I definitely don’t have a type. I mean would you go on holiday to the same resort every year? Or choose the same meal at a restaurant? Some may say yes, but until I reach the Saga Cruise age I will continue to let variety be my spice of life.