Being married is all about staying at home and looking after the hubby, while life as a single girl puts Carrie Bradshaw’s tales to shame. WRONG. Our Wedded Miss isn’t ready to hang up her dancing shoes, and Miss Independent isn’t a maneater on the hunt for love. Here they look at why their stereotypes and attitudes to nights out couldn’t be further from these ideals.
Wedded Miss Says:
Back when I was a Miss Independent I loved a good night out on the razz! Getting glammed up, having a few vino’s with friends and heading out into town for a dance, possibly chatting up a few boys along the way and having the odd snog or more was exciting. Being a Wedded Miss I do still love a good night out with my friends although it is very different now and sometimes I wonder if I should still be out in the trendy bars, drinking and dancing my night away….
I love going out on a night out in town either with my hubby on a date night or with the girls on a mission to dance! I love getting dressed up and feeling gorgeous, I love trying out new make up, styling my hair and spritzing on my wedding perfume to give me added confidence and happiness. I love the process of getting ready! I love seeing my girls, having a good old gossip and catch up and a few cheeky cocktails. I love going to a late bar and dancing in a crazy fashion – one more bonus of being married, you really don’t care what other men think of you (and my husband has seen the crazy dancing on many occasions before he put that ring on my finger)!!
But what I do find uncomfortable nowadays is the ‘singles scene’. I hate the idea of having to pretend to be interested in what random men have to say. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of chatting people up or being chatted up (harmless or not). I feel like I had years of that and I found an amazing man and work hard at making our relationship so brilliant, I just don’t want to go out and have to waste precious girly gossip time chatting to people that are not important to me.
I also feel much older now, I feel out of place in the bars I used to go to. Don’t get me wrong I still get dressed up in short dresses and fake tan my pins but it is to make me feel good not to impress a bloke who isn’t my husband! It is a strange situation as my friends who are single aren’t out to pull a bloke and we will happily while the night away sipping cocktails and chatting without talking to anyone else. It seems to me that just the fact that a few girls are out without a man is a red flag to a bull. I have news for you blokes – girls are not out to pull, they are out to have fun!
Many of my married friends have chosen to get pregnant almost as soon as they got married and maybe this is the issue, men think that if you are married you are typically at home, nurturing your bump or feeding a crying child. This is not something I am ready to do and maybe I never will be – I do not think that marriage equals children and I still want to go out and enjoy my life with my husband and my friends and my family without feeling that I am too old and too boring!
So I will continue to go out and have fun even though it is a bit different to when I was a Miss Independent, because I think being Wedding Miss doesn’t equal being Mrs Tied to the Kitchen Sink! See you at the bar Ladies!
Miss Independent says…
As Neyo once crooned so smoothly ‘Miss Independent, won’t you come and spend a little time’, but spending time on what exactly? Dolling myself up to the nines in the hope that a city boy w*nker of the year notices me? Or could it be spending time ignoring the guy that you like, in the hope that your ignorance makes him hornier than Mark Wright on heat?
Being a one woman band, I would rather dance to my own tune on a night out than put on a show for a group of single blokes. Don’t get me wrong, I do get a buzz from good banter and male attention, but I’d rather get it for the right reasons and not because my junk in the trunk caught their attention.
Looking back over my relationships, non were from meeting a bloke during a night on the Sambucas, and any one night stands (sorry Mum) soon gave me a sex hangover, which no amount of Fanta and crisps could ever cure.
Getting ready for a night on the razz is all about the girls for me, from glamming up, to guzzling champagne; no guy can ever replicate or steal that feeling away from you. But I agree with Wedded Miss that the singles scene has a lot of pressure, pitfalls and perverts. I’m all for acting like a lady, but sometimes I want to act like a man, as observing them during nights out is a wakeup call to the times when I do wish I would catch someone’s eye.
Blokes go out in gangs and aim to have a laugh; it’s never about obviously pulling, which is why many blokes attract women for all the right reasons. Granted, you do get some idiots who will try to pull anything that moves, but the old saying is true that you will never find something when you are looking for it.
I am a long way off being a Wedded Miss, so for now I shall enjoy my singledom and all of the hilarity which ensues along the way. But just as being married doesn’t equal being tied down to a dull social life, being single doesn’t mean you have to be out on the pull every weekend and be on the prowl for your next sexual victim. This Miss Independent does her own thing, and puts her girls before her guys any day of the week.
Carrie Bradshaw once said that she had found her 4 soul mates in her gang of girlies, and she didn’t have to down any Cosmo’s and sleep with them to achieve that; amen sister.