A Bad Case of The Singles

22 Jul

If I had a penny for every time someone gave me that look when I said I was without a bloke, I would be able to buy 2 and a half Freddo bars. But what exactly is it about those people who are coupled off which makes them look at you like an alien? Here our Miss Independent delves into the depths of deepest singledom to shed some light on this new found disease known as ‘The Singles’

I remember it clear as day, word for word; the time I fled to a sunnier climate with my cousin and had my first encounter of being diagnosed with ‘The Singles.’ My cousin has been with her fella ever since Paris Hilton learnt the art of serial dating, so it was only right that we happened to meet 2 couples when abroad who had also been together longer than time itself. While I was trying to get my sunbathe on, I was constantly surrounded by conversations themed on ‘things that your other half does’ and ‘ohh yes we will probably have a house or bambino by then.’

It wasn’t until I coughed and they realised I was actually still there, that one half of smug couple numero one asked whether I had a boyfriend, to which I replied ‘no not at the moment’, and that caused the sympathetic tilt of the head along with ‘aww don’t worry, you’ll find someone soon.’ Well at 23 years old, I certainly didn’t have images of my growing old with a beard and 20 cats, so worrying was the last thing on my mind after a previous relationship lasting 2 years.

So just how long has this been going on, and is being single really something people should fear in a time where women are choosing careers over caring boyfriends? I believe that having The Singles is something you either embrace or eternally fear; I say enjoy the extra space in your double bed, not having to shave your legs for 6 weeks (yes I do that sometimes, and what?) and just simply taking care of yourself while the right person skips along beside you without you blinking an eye.

I feel that asking someone if they are in a relationship falls under the bracket of ‘things you ask people you have only just met’, along with ‘what do you do for a living?’ and ‘where are you from?’ But I would never tilt my head and go ‘aww’ if someone told me that they were unemployed or worked in a factory putting lids on toothpaste tubes then condesend them by saying ‘don’t worry, you’ll find a job soon!’, so why do people feel the need to cast me out like a lepar when I reveal that I am without a spooning partner and do not receive a regular forking?

If I look back to previous dating experiences, I should have been locked up for crimes against commitment, as I was eternally looking for that Mr Right, when many guys were just Mr Right-now-I-Just-Want-To-See-Your-Boobies. So I am previously guilty of placing my own fear about catching ‘The Singles’, when in theory I was looking in all the wrong places for a so called cure.

I believe people project their fear of being single on to other people, such as myself, and when they are so happily loved up in a relationship they forget what being single was like and relate it to a time where life sucked, and everything wasn’t one big fluffy marshmallow. But my theory as a long term member of the ‘Single Ladies Society’ (holla), is that the most important relationship you will ever have in life is with yourself, and if you are not a member of team you then how can you expect blokes to get off the bench and join in the game?

I can happily scream at the top of my lungs- My name is Miss Independent and I proudly suffer from ‘The Singles’, so to all of you who are wondering how I cope without any man veg to grope or stubble to rub up against, I say “just fine thanks” as I know when the time is right someone will put a ring on it; so for now I have no cause to say ‘Uh Oh Oh.’

 

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One Response to “A Bad Case of The Singles”

  1. Jack Avison (@jack_van_avison) July 22, 2012 at 9:19 pm #

    The Singles, i caught a case, was really getting me down that i was infected, but now i’ve found the right medication, a dose of selfishness, looking out for number one and plenty of me time. Someone asked me today if i had a “partner” and I was almost having to justify why it was, okay even caught myself saying “i’m quite happy by myself”. love Bitched 😉

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