Go With The Flow

16 Sep


Fabulous outfit: check. Big back combed hair: check. False lashes: check. Too much make up: check. These essential items were always on Miss Independent’s list when heading out in the hope of meeting Mr Right. But now she’s decided to do some ditching of her own and just be herself when it comes to falling in love…

As the love crusader herself, Carrie Bradshaw, once said “Maybe it’s time to be clear about who I am. I am someone who is looking for love, real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without each other love.’
While I fail to have C-Bradders walk in wardrobe, I do share her passion for love walking into my life when I least expect it, but for years I have gone about my search in completely the wrong way and have ended up blinded by my own false lashes.

People always say you should stick to what you know; that being me falling head over heels for my first boyfriend when I was just 16, back when I had bushy eyebrows, no style and a serious afro going on due to the non invention of GHD’s. But this gorgeous soul saw past what I thought was the most important element to a relationship, and he fell for me just as hard. We didn’t last more than 2 years, but what followed was me morphing in to someone from TOWIE, who thought that the more I portrayed myself as a Barbie doll who also had to hide how she really felt about someone she actually liked, would result in finding the most passionate of love affairs.

If we all look back at past relationships, we can see that we weren’t as happy as we probably first imagined, and lately I have been taking great comfort in that and seeing the end of the passion as a huge sign telling me that this guy just isn’t the one for me. If I am guilty of one thing when it comes to relationships, it would be getting carried away and assuming certain things are going to happen; resulting in my own upset when life goes with its own flow and things just work out the way they are supposed to.

Gone are the days where I beat myself up for telling a guy I want him as my boyfriend, when he fought to be with me, only for him to have a shit fit and freak out over that one word. Gone are the days I cry tears over a guy who was super sweet to my face, but decided to bad mouth me and paint me as a lady of the night to his friends, and gone are the days of pining after someone who only ever wants you on their terms, and only ever for sexual reasons. At 27 I am no longer ashamed to say I am looking for a passionate, fun and meaningful relationship; does that mean I am wanting to get married and settle down with 4 kids? No. It simply means I refuse to settle for anything less than intense, and the more inconvenient the better.

This new found attitude was born in Ibiza of all places; while many would be banging left right and centre while chewing their own faces off from a night full of pills, I found myself having an actual dream come true, and what followed was something even Ms Bradshaw couldn’t conjure up. There I was, dancing like a loon with my hair looking like slick Rick, when a cute guy comes over to me and says “where you guys from?” and when I bounced the question back to him he says “Australia.” Now, only days before, my friend Rachel had asked what my dream guy would be like on The White Isle, and I had said an Aussie. So while I raised my hands to the heavens to enjoy the dance tunes, I quietly said thank you and had a permanent smile plastered across my face.

What followed was a night of dancing, drinking, snogging and… Well you know the rest. But what followed after we parted was non stop texting, and him coming to see me for the weekend as part of his European travels.

This guy has changed the way I see myself and the way I look at love in general, as he liked what he saw when I was 100% just being myself; gone are the days of wearing bodycon dresses and dancing like a Pussycat Doll to get his attention. I am hopeful we keep in touch, but I am also in the mind set now that if things are meant to be with anyone then they will just flow naturally.

So to all those single girls out there who copy a glamour girls style in order to bag that dream man; I’ve been there, done that, but would much rather meet Mr Right while slobbing around in my favourite t-shirt.

4 Responses to “Go With The Flow”

  1. overthinkingmind September 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    Loving the message you are putting out here. Being dressed up and looking your best is all swell and good but if you really want to be with him, well, he’s going to have to deal with you when you haven’t shaved; haven’t showered and have become ridiculously ill! Lovely post 🙂

    • kolegate September 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

      Aww thanks for the kind words! It’s only recently that I’ve started to chill out about stuff like this, but it’s definitely the way forward 🙂

      • overthinkingmind September 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

        You are very very welcome 🙂
        I think just relaxing about looks and looking perfect makes people more attractive- well, that’s what I like to think anyway since my boyfriend moved in and realized not all my underwear looked like I was going to shoot a porno haha

      • kolegate September 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

        Haha! That’s very funny 🙂

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