The old saying goes that a woman will look for qualities her Dad possesses when it comes to bagging a man. Here Ditched delves into her relationship vault to see if this really rings true…
Dad, Daddy, Poppa, Father, old man- whatever you call ‘he who helped create you’, do we women really go after men who resemble our Mum’s horizontal jogging partner?
My late Father (I’ll posh it up and call him that for this piece) was cheeky, a charmer, lad about town, in and out of a youth offenders unit, rebellious, outspoken, confident and couldn’t be tied down to anyone or anything. But to those close to him he was a big softie, a true romantic, and a man who struggled to show his true emotions in the right way.
So are the blokes on my dating record guilty of showing the above attributes and personality traits? Well after a close inspection the answer is a big fat yes; pretty much all of my rendezvous have been with men who kind of want to be with me, show my lots of attention at first, but never really want to be in an actual loving relationship; unless it’s with the pub and a pint.
My link to Dads and dating goes all the way back to my ultimate 90’s crush: East 17’s Brian Harvey. He was a small, bald, cheeky, loud mouthed rebel who did things on his terms, and I couldn’t get enough of his bad boy antics (Take That who??)
But do I and other lady folk consciously choose to date Daddy style? Personally if I knew a man was so hard to pin down and wasn’t going to reply to my texts, I wouldn’t want the hassle or heartache. But clearly on some sort of unaware level, I get a thrill out of not knowing how someone feels or how they will treat me; talk about a sucker for punishment! Recently I found out that a guy I liked, and who I thought liked me too, has a girlfriend, which is a massive no no for me, but I still found myself feeling more attracted and wanting him that little bit more.
I never had a close relationship with my Dad, which now causes me to seek approval from guys that I date (hello therapy session!) but I also recognise that passion, excitement and a ‘on your toes’ love life is better suited to me than knowing where I stand.
All I know is that relationships can definitely be a family affair…