Archive | July, 2013

Five ways to get over that douche

22 Jul

20130722-204028.jpg

Recently Ditched was let down again by a man, which left her feeling insecure, hurt and rejected, and had Hitched running out of love advice. We have had enough of pretty, strong and amazing women being made to feel like dirt just because guys can only think with their dangly bits. So girls, take these five Fab tips and trust us when we say you CAN get over that weasel.

1. Do a Ross Geller
No, not sleep with someone else during a break, but make a list of his pros and cons. Sure he may have that cheeky glint in his eye, a pretty awesome sense of humour and look orgasmic in a fitted t-shirt, but don’t let your sexual desire drive your want for him. Think about his morals, the nice things he does for others and his general attitude towards life- having a big schlong and calling you ‘babe’ doesn’t make him a boy you can bring home to Momma.

2.Listen to your gut
We’ve all been there; enjoying a delish meal when the dance of diarrhoea begins its matinee performance in your gut. Now, do you sprint to the loo or ride it out and end up in the shit (literally). Take this disgusting advice and apply it to him- deep down you know he is a wrong un’, so cut your losses and avoid a hot damn mess.

3. Don’t waste the pretty
If a bellend let’s you down its very tempting to get dolled up and hit the town to attract another. But instead of roaming your local bars, bus stops and Burger King looking for Tom, Dick and Harry, why not save your heels and snuggle up on the sofa with Ben & Jerry instead. They’ll be plenty of chances to shake it like a Polaroid picture and meet your future Fosling (fake Gosling), when you are back to your best.

4. See who he follows
We don’t mean deer stalking the sad sap, but more like logging on to Twitter and seeing who he virtually has love for. If ‘We adore boobs’ or ‘smokin hot babes’ is on that list then you have escaped a grade A perve, and you can thank your lucky stars that he didn’t snap you and tweet in a picture of your amazing lady cannons.

5. Do the maths
You and him don’t add up, but what’s vital to remember is he is one OF a million, not one IN a million. Chances are you’ll cry, be hurt and feel rejected by another man in your life, but knowing that its all simply a law of averages means you can throw that calculator away and subtract another tool from your fabulous life.

Go get em gorgeous!

20130722-204851.jpg

Ditched’s Official Relationship Top 3

16 Jul

You’re listening to Singleton FM- Where being lonely is always top of our playlist. Today we are joined by dumpsville’s NO1 resident and hopeless romantic- Ditched aka Miss Independent. 

Like many women, she searches for a deeper meaning in song lyrics (the past month has been dedicated to Robin Thicke and his damn Blurred Lines…) and here she runs through her top three tracks which symbolise the relationship she is yet to find…

 

KATY PERRY- TEENAGE DREAM you think i’m pretty, without any make up on”

This brings back memories of my first love- all butterflies, tongue sandwiches, and talks of ‘we are NEVER breaking up’ IDST. Plus, isn’t it every girls life long dream to be attractive to a bloke, without half  a Benefit counter on her face? This tune reflects the carefree and passionate relationship that I am yet to experience…

 

KINGS OF LEON- SEX ON FIRE “hot as a fever, rattling bones, I could just taste it, taste it”

Woah momma, someone crack open a window as it’s getting hot in herrrrre! The pure animal lust and attraction featured in this song symbolises the deep and intense S.E.X (ohhh naughty) that I need to keep a relationship alive. (Nelly Furtado’s ‘Maneater’ was a close second in my song choice…)

 

P!NK- TRUE LOVE “At the same time, I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck, you’re an asshole, but I love you”

They say there’s a fine line between love and hate, and P!nk is a woman after my own romantic heart. But I truly believe that realising that your Mr Perfect is actually a Mr ‘sometimes a dick’ is the best thing for any relationship. Fuck the fairytale and roll with life’s punches- after all, changing the frequency on your relationship station can be a fabulous thing.

 

Don’t forget to vote for us in the Cosmo Blog Awards 2013 as the best sex & relationship blog!

nominate me

We’ve made the Cosmo Blog Awards shortlist 2013!

13 Jul

20130713-114659.jpg

That’s right fabulous readers, we have been chosen as one of 7 blogs in the sex & relationship category! This year we really want to WIN! But need your help to do so….

Simply click the icon at the bottom of the page and find us in the sex & relationship section!

You can only vote once using the same email address, and the winner will be chosen by 50% voting and 50% judging panel! Voting closes 30th August!

We had a blast at last years awards, and hopefully 2013 will see us walk away with the title of best sex and relationship blog 2013!

20130713-114413.jpg

nominate me