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Marriage, bed and me – habits of a wedded couple

19 Mar

The Dream

When you are single you dream of cuddles, snuggles and breakfast in bed. Something a little like this…

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But let me tell you my reality is very different and this post will explain that. I’m not suggesting this is how all married couples sleep but if you go to bed with snuggles every night I hate you!

The Reality

Nik and I rarely go to bed together – I would say 1 out of the 7 nights in a week we go to bed together.  I love sleep and if I’m tired at 9pm I will go to bed – I will never fight to stay awake. But Nik on the other hand is more than happy to stay up until 3am (on a school night!) playing Fifa!

Is it selfish that I like it this way?

I have a particular bed time routine that I like to stick too, this is not an OCD, no matter what Nik says. Part of this routine includes falling asleep by sunset to the sound of a thunderstorm. Thanks to my Lumie SAD lamp and my favourite app, Rain Rain. I also get to spread out in the star position if I like. It has been known my poor husband has had to had to get out of bed and move to the otherside in the middle of the night. Just last week I woke up to find him sleeping by my feet – top and tail style. What a lucky guy.

I am also a BIG fan of the Sudo cream facemask. If you don’t know what this is please let me explain. A little while ago I read in a magazine that Cheryl (Fernandez-Versini) did this as part of her skincare routine, I tried it once and I was hooked. Basically you get the famous bum cream and smoother your face, go to sleep and let in soak in overnight. This means you go to bed looking like this…

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TIP – You don’t need to go this thick – this was just for the purpose of the photo!

I am also a fan of an Elizabeth Arden overnight soak. Do you get the idea my skin care routine is lazy! This is also another sticky, overnight process; meaning late night passions are a big no no here!

So what does going to bed separately mean, if anything?

When we go to bed together it is really not that special, you do not have to have sex at bedtime and I’m usually annoyed that I don’t that have the whole bed to myself. So is our relationship doomed if we don’t have the perfect bedtime routine?

The perfect bedtime routine does not exist. At the beginning of a new relationship you attempt this… but it fails. Need I saw anymore https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbrG0VIFcD8

Sleep impacts your mood and wellbeing right, so why sacrifice it! Some couples sleep in separate rooms and if that’s what works for you fine, I don’t think it means your relationship is doomed.

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International Women’s Day: The women who have inspired Hitched

8 Mar

International Women’s Day is an opportunity for the world to celebrate women and their achievements. First held in 1909 in the United States – International Women’s Day is now celebrated in countries across the globe each year on March 8th. 

To celebrate ‘Hitched’ and ‘Ditched’ thought they would share the women that have inspired them – go girls!

My Mother 



Common known in my family as Marge / Ma – I’m not really sure why as her name is Viv; it started years ago and stuck. 

My Ma didn’t have it easy growing up – nowa days people often moan they are poor, but I doubt they would want to swap with my Mums childhood. She has had to work extremely hard to get where she is but never makes that apparent. 

My Mum started her training to become a nurse at 17 and to this day has put in over 40 years of service in the NHS! My Mum went back to work when both me and my sister were babies, fitting night shifts in between school runs and dummy tantrums and that’s pretty inspirational in its itself! 

My Mum is very kind and will help anyone out if they ask – but she is not a pushover. Although we don’t always see eye to eye my Mum is always there for my family. I’d like to think I’m the same. 

My Auntie Shirley 



I don’t ever attempt to hide it – Shirley is my favourite Auntie.  Fact. It has been commented on that our personalities are very similar (and we both love wine!)  

I always have and still do see Shirley as a super glamourous lady – no one makes Primark clothes look so good! Shirley radiates confidence and has a great attitude. A proper girly girl who loves clothes and make-up – who wouldn’t want her as an Auntie. 

Although I paint a pretty descriptive image Shirley is super strong and a few years ago got the dreaded C word. Cancer. But even after losing all her hair and being unimaginable ill, she fought it and won. Now we would be the first to raise a glass to that! 

My friend Natalie



They say “if a friendship lasts longer than 7 years, psychologist say it will last a lifetime” and we more than have that covered. 

Nat has been in my life since I was about 4 or 5. We have been there for each other through friends, boys and hangovers! A bridesmaid at my wedding she spent the day before running errands with me, whilst wrapping the wedding favours in pink ribbons in the back of the car. 

Nat has always been there for me and lately has had a bit of a rough time, but handled everything like a pro! She is easily the strongest girl I know! Nat become a Mum at the end of last year and 3 months in has handled it all exactly how I expected – brilliantly. I am incredible proud to have her as my friend.

I’m lucky enough to have had so many inspirational women in my life – it was tough only high lightening a select few but if I wrote about all the inspirational women in my life I would be here for weeks! Happy International Women’s Day girls! 

What being married means to me

24 Feb

Here’s the very first post from our brand new Hitched – Mrs Sam Harwood… take it away Sam!

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Wow – what a question. But I feel I must start this post with a disclosure – I’m writing with a cold. Not quite man flu, but I feel poorly and vulnerable. So right now being married means appreciating having a live-in pharmacist and feeling comfortable enough to not hide my face covered in snot and Vaseline.

If I were to answer this question on a different day, in a different mood would my answer change? Marriage changes over time and through the good and bad situations, but does the meaning?

Marriage to me is about family – starting your own new family unit of two and either breaking away from your old family or extending on it.  On my side we extended it. I didn’t just get a husband but my Dad got a son, my Nan got another grandchild and my sister an annoying big brother. Overall I think they like it.

It’s also means to me having someone on your side –note not always, Nik is certainly not a push over and when I’m wrong (although I never am!) he voices it. But generally I love having my backup support system. After a long day at work and an extremely annoying colleague I relay my story and whether he understands, and or, cares Nik always has my back. And the very next evening he will do the same again. Yes I love bitching with my girlfriends, but if I called them every night to do it, how long would it be before my calls reached their voicemail?

Although I have played the role of Little Miss Confidence the truth is a very different matter and my support system has slowly helped with that, probably without him ever knowing!

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I have very recently been asked to be a bridesmaid and for the research of this post I turned to my newly engaged friend and asked the same question to determine whether my views have changed.  I have been married for four years – it’s a long way off a lifetime but beats Britney’s 55 hours and Kim K and Kris Humphries 72 days! Her answer was simple; marriage meant the ultimate commitment – the forever.

My thoughts exactly, so perhaps what marriage to me doesn’t change, maybe you lose sight of what it means when you argue over money or the washing up. But overall you have made the ultimate commitment and yes there is means of escape. I’m not afraid of divorce and will always promote the “divorce is better than an unhappy marriage” message. But right now I type as a lucky girl, happy in my marriage. But at the same time you must feel like it is forever, if you feel you have an easy means of escape you may not put in the work marriage needs.

Like every marriage is different, so are our meanings. But this is mine. Now I turn to you – what does your marriage mean to you?

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Happy Birthday Hitched!

17 Feb

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Hey guys! Muchios apologies for not posting anything since 2000 and late, but we have been very busy ladies; what with Hitched becoming a lash extension artist, and Ditched eating ten tubs of ice cream to get over yet another Valentines Day alone.

But we want to take five minutes out to say a huge HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY to our very own Wedded Miss; here’s wishing you a fabulous day and many more blogging memories to come; now where’s that champagne?

XXX

A Very Couples Christmas

26 Dec

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For me, Christmas time has always been about proper family time. I am not religious so it is essentially a day to get presents, eat, drink and be merry!

When I was young, me, Mum, Dad and my sister Sara would all go to Christmas eve parties at friends of the family then be together all day Christmas Day, opening presents, eating, going for our traditional walk to my best friends house then home for games and more food!

Basically I have never spent a Christmas away from my family and since we lost Mum Christmas has been harder, more emotional and for a few years quite shit for all of us.

I met Rich 5 Christmas’s ago and it was still a difficult time of year for us as a family, so me, dad and Sara all tried to stick to together and have just a nice time; we went away and tried to form new traditions which helped.

But it’s different when you are with someone and especially when you get married, that person is who you want to be with on Christmas day. You want to form new traditions as a family, but also incorporate both of your traditions into one day and try to make it all go smoothly!

Of course there are 2 sets of parents to please as well….we are both very family orientated at Christmas and so this makes it even more complicated! I feel like whatever we do someone won’t be happy or will be missing out on something. There is guilt at every turn!

Despite the difficulties and emotions that Christmas time inevitably brings, since I have met and spent Christmas days with Rich, my love for the festive season has returned and I can appreciate my time and traditions with family – both mine and Rich’s.

I feel so unbelievably lucky to have 2 families that I love and love me. So whether you are single or coupled up this festive season just remember – it could be worse! Take the time to enjoy stuffing your face with turkey, having a day off work, staying in your onesie all day and playing with all the new things you get!

Raise a glass to lost loved ones and hug your nearest and dearest, even if they do drive you to the brink of sanity sometimes!

Merry Christmas and a very thankful New Year to us all!

Love Lauren aka Hitched

Wedded Miss: The Sporting Widow

2 Jul

When making a huge committment to the world about your relationship, you vow to love and honour each other in sickness and in health, but does an obsession with all things sport class as said ailment? Here our Wedded Miss discusses her hubby’s love of all things competitive, and why being a sports widow doesn’t mean a red card for her other half.

My husband loves sport; any sport.  Football is his first love but he will literally watch almost any competitive spectacle.  Cricket, horse racing, dog racing, American football, tennis, athletics, cycling, rugby, even snooker and darts; which aren’t even sports in my eyes, I mean have you seen the physiques on those ‘athletes?’

I know, I know, most men do like a bit of sport now and then, and that’s fine, but this is not a casual hobby; this is a passion, a love of his life to rival my affections, and this year I have well and truly become a sports widow!

 Football season ends and I breathe a sigh of relief, maybe we can go out on a Saturday afternoon together for lunch, a walk, a drink! But no, in our house there is a never ending carousel of sports.  This year it’s the Euros, which saw my hubby off to the Ukraine for 4 days to drink, watch football and be merry!  Then the Tour De France, the cricket all summer and the Olympics, then back to football season; it is literally never ending. 

 I can’t begrudge the love of my life the love of his life, as I have always known him to be a bit of a fan, but at times it does cause some friction in our otherwise blissful marriage. The thing you must understand is that men do not like to be talked to, asked questions of or disturbed in any way, shape or form whilst sport is on.  Not even to give him his homemade dinner or show him your sexy new dress/shoes/underwear.  I do not stand a chance of any sort of attention during a game/race/match, and I have learnt not to take this as a huge personal insult like I used to, but to just accept that his brain cannot compute more than one important thing at a time; sport being the important thing of course…

 Also the thing with sport is, my lovely other half really would prefer to watch it live, in the flesh or with other people who actually give a flying…..!  Consequently this means sport time is not together time.  You know how going to the cinema is not quality talking time, but is together time?  Yeah, sport is not like that.  Well not in our house anyway! 

 But despite my frustrations at being ignored during sporting activities of any kind, I actually love how passionate he is about it all, and  I would much rather be with someone who has a hobby he loves and enjoys even if it does take up a chunk of his precious time.  How boring would life be if we were all the same or we all had the same hobbies? 

 Plus his sports time is my shopping time, so the more hours he spends watching his beloved team shoot balls into nets, or pointy things into boards; the more precious seconds I get to experience my own spending adrenaline rush. Now that’s game, set and match ladies!

Wedded Miss: Soap & Glorious

30 Apr

Move over hubby, our Wedded Miss has a new love in her life and it comes in the form of Soap & Glory’s skincare range. Here she says a massive ‘I Do’ to their latest anti-wrinkle eye cream.

       

As I hurtle towards the grand old age of 30, I realise that I have to succumb to using products which make my skin silky smooth and prevent those dreaded wrinkles we all spend a fortune trying to avoid. My eyes are the real issue, as even though I have inherited my parents youthful looks, I have always had big dark bags which seem to be getting more sensitive and crinkled as I enjoy married life.

There is a huge market for anti-wrinkle miracle solutions but I’m not interested in the hype, as even though I am recently hitched I just don’t feel old enough to need such a wonder product. Luckily for me, Soap & Glory have everything a girl needs to take your face from fab to drab without breaking into the cocktail fund.

My fabulous & generous Dad had already bought me a delightful selection of products from the range to get me ready for my wedding, so I already knew the face range was working for me.
Make Yourself Youthful eye cream is a serious life saver; my love for this product is close to my love for ‘Mr & Mrs’ garments and it is perfect for my sensitive contact lensed eyes, as  It soothes them, stops concealer drying and helps reduce dark circles.

It is now one of the must haves in my morning routine, so if you’re feeling the pinch around the windows to your soul – check it out. It is £12 for a small tube but it lasts for ages as you need the tiniest amount.

Other soap & glory products I strongly recommend you blow your pay check on:

1. Clean On Me shower gel – gorgeous smell, moisturising & lasts longer than Miss Independent’s relationships.

2. Calm One Calm All Bubble bath – as above but even more moisturising & gives good bubble.

3. Love at First Blush blusher – beautiful pinks plus a gorgeous shimmer to highlight your cheekbones, whether they are there or not!! Try it on your eye lids too. Mirror included so shove it in your clutch to keep you looking flushed all day/night long.

4. Face Soap and Clarity – excellent facial scrub which makes your face feel clean & fresh without drying it out. Also good if you have oily/sensitive skin like moi as it is super kind & not harsh.

Try them – you won’t regret it!