Tag Archives: husband

What being married means to me

24 Feb

Here’s the very first post from our brand new Hitched – Mrs Sam Harwood… take it away Sam!

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Wow – what a question. But I feel I must start this post with a disclosure – I’m writing with a cold. Not quite man flu, but I feel poorly and vulnerable. So right now being married means appreciating having a live-in pharmacist and feeling comfortable enough to not hide my face covered in snot and Vaseline.

If I were to answer this question on a different day, in a different mood would my answer change? Marriage changes over time and through the good and bad situations, but does the meaning?

Marriage to me is about family – starting your own new family unit of two and either breaking away from your old family or extending on it.  On my side we extended it. I didn’t just get a husband but my Dad got a son, my Nan got another grandchild and my sister an annoying big brother. Overall I think they like it.

It’s also means to me having someone on your side –note not always, Nik is certainly not a push over and when I’m wrong (although I never am!) he voices it. But generally I love having my backup support system. After a long day at work and an extremely annoying colleague I relay my story and whether he understands, and or, cares Nik always has my back. And the very next evening he will do the same again. Yes I love bitching with my girlfriends, but if I called them every night to do it, how long would it be before my calls reached their voicemail?

Although I have played the role of Little Miss Confidence the truth is a very different matter and my support system has slowly helped with that, probably without him ever knowing!

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I have very recently been asked to be a bridesmaid and for the research of this post I turned to my newly engaged friend and asked the same question to determine whether my views have changed.  I have been married for four years – it’s a long way off a lifetime but beats Britney’s 55 hours and Kim K and Kris Humphries 72 days! Her answer was simple; marriage meant the ultimate commitment – the forever.

My thoughts exactly, so perhaps what marriage to me doesn’t change, maybe you lose sight of what it means when you argue over money or the washing up. But overall you have made the ultimate commitment and yes there is means of escape. I’m not afraid of divorce and will always promote the “divorce is better than an unhappy marriage” message. But right now I type as a lucky girl, happy in my marriage. But at the same time you must feel like it is forever, if you feel you have an easy means of escape you may not put in the work marriage needs.

Like every marriage is different, so are our meanings. But this is mine. Now I turn to you – what does your marriage mean to you?

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A Very Couples Christmas

26 Dec

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For me, Christmas time has always been about proper family time. I am not religious so it is essentially a day to get presents, eat, drink and be merry!

When I was young, me, Mum, Dad and my sister Sara would all go to Christmas eve parties at friends of the family then be together all day Christmas Day, opening presents, eating, going for our traditional walk to my best friends house then home for games and more food!

Basically I have never spent a Christmas away from my family and since we lost Mum Christmas has been harder, more emotional and for a few years quite shit for all of us.

I met Rich 5 Christmas’s ago and it was still a difficult time of year for us as a family, so me, dad and Sara all tried to stick to together and have just a nice time; we went away and tried to form new traditions which helped.

But it’s different when you are with someone and especially when you get married, that person is who you want to be with on Christmas day. You want to form new traditions as a family, but also incorporate both of your traditions into one day and try to make it all go smoothly!

Of course there are 2 sets of parents to please as well….we are both very family orientated at Christmas and so this makes it even more complicated! I feel like whatever we do someone won’t be happy or will be missing out on something. There is guilt at every turn!

Despite the difficulties and emotions that Christmas time inevitably brings, since I have met and spent Christmas days with Rich, my love for the festive season has returned and I can appreciate my time and traditions with family – both mine and Rich’s.

I feel so unbelievably lucky to have 2 families that I love and love me. So whether you are single or coupled up this festive season just remember – it could be worse! Take the time to enjoy stuffing your face with turkey, having a day off work, staying in your onesie all day and playing with all the new things you get!

Raise a glass to lost loved ones and hug your nearest and dearest, even if they do drive you to the brink of sanity sometimes!

Merry Christmas and a very thankful New Year to us all!

Love Lauren aka Hitched

Wedded Miss: The Sporting Widow

2 Jul

When making a huge committment to the world about your relationship, you vow to love and honour each other in sickness and in health, but does an obsession with all things sport class as said ailment? Here our Wedded Miss discusses her hubby’s love of all things competitive, and why being a sports widow doesn’t mean a red card for her other half.

My husband loves sport; any sport.  Football is his first love but he will literally watch almost any competitive spectacle.  Cricket, horse racing, dog racing, American football, tennis, athletics, cycling, rugby, even snooker and darts; which aren’t even sports in my eyes, I mean have you seen the physiques on those ‘athletes?’

I know, I know, most men do like a bit of sport now and then, and that’s fine, but this is not a casual hobby; this is a passion, a love of his life to rival my affections, and this year I have well and truly become a sports widow!

 Football season ends and I breathe a sigh of relief, maybe we can go out on a Saturday afternoon together for lunch, a walk, a drink! But no, in our house there is a never ending carousel of sports.  This year it’s the Euros, which saw my hubby off to the Ukraine for 4 days to drink, watch football and be merry!  Then the Tour De France, the cricket all summer and the Olympics, then back to football season; it is literally never ending. 

 I can’t begrudge the love of my life the love of his life, as I have always known him to be a bit of a fan, but at times it does cause some friction in our otherwise blissful marriage. The thing you must understand is that men do not like to be talked to, asked questions of or disturbed in any way, shape or form whilst sport is on.  Not even to give him his homemade dinner or show him your sexy new dress/shoes/underwear.  I do not stand a chance of any sort of attention during a game/race/match, and I have learnt not to take this as a huge personal insult like I used to, but to just accept that his brain cannot compute more than one important thing at a time; sport being the important thing of course…

 Also the thing with sport is, my lovely other half really would prefer to watch it live, in the flesh or with other people who actually give a flying…..!  Consequently this means sport time is not together time.  You know how going to the cinema is not quality talking time, but is together time?  Yeah, sport is not like that.  Well not in our house anyway! 

 But despite my frustrations at being ignored during sporting activities of any kind, I actually love how passionate he is about it all, and  I would much rather be with someone who has a hobby he loves and enjoys even if it does take up a chunk of his precious time.  How boring would life be if we were all the same or we all had the same hobbies? 

 Plus his sports time is my shopping time, so the more hours he spends watching his beloved team shoot balls into nets, or pointy things into boards; the more precious seconds I get to experience my own spending adrenaline rush. Now that’s game, set and match ladies!