Tag Archives: Katy Perry

The Dark Side of Love…

30 Sep


Here at Hitched & Ditched we like to look at the lighter side of love, or make light of the idiotic stuff that some men do. We love a good pun and witty comment too, but sometimes it’s important to take a look at issues that bring out strong emotions. Today we read that popstar Katy Perry considered taking her own life after divorcing Russell Brand and it touched something in us…

Most women in their lifetime will encounter love – whether that’s with friends, family or falling head over heels for ten Mr wrongs, until one day you wear the right pair of heels and stay up for Mr Right. The L-drug is stronger than Hitched’s morning coffee, and can make you do, say and feel crazy and intense things; which is why it’s no surprise that should your relationship sail off course, feelings of deep sorrow, loneliness and a crisis of self confidence can leave you floundering.

Katy & Russell experienced a whirlwind romance- something our Ditched has always dreamed off, and with these roller coaster hook ups come extreme highs and truly devastating lows. As with any break up, especially when a marriage is involved, you are left questioning everything about life and what’s next for you; and while celebrity may offer disposable income to buy new cars, clothes and arm candy, it doesn’t mean the pain of someone rejecting you is any easier.

I asked myself- “Do I want to endure? Should I continue living?

Ditched says:
“My hardest break up came from a really short romance, and actually hurt more than my previous 2 year relationship- he excited me from the get go and the build up to us getting together was just the right balance of causal teasing and actual feelings. His texts excited me, the idea of seeing him for an evening of X Factor and our own X rated action thrilled me- I was slowly falling but he just wasn’t ready for the laughs and laid back evenings to become anything more than that, so he ended it by text message as I was on my way to meet my brother for lunch- what followed was me sobbing in the loos of Revolution like a child who couldn’t breathe after a tantrum.”

“I felt alone- I’d wake up and for the tiniest piece of a split second I felt normal, then my brain had its shot of espresso and informed my stomach to flip and my tear ducts to fill up again. Looking in the mirror I felt grim, pale and like my mojo had gone- and all because of a somewhat lanky man with questionable dress sense. Although I felt alone and had my bad days, I never questioned my place on this earth, so for Katy to have these thoughts running through her mind must have meant she was pretty much a broken woman.”

Depression and anxiety are two things very close to Hitched & Ditched’s heart, and something as traumatic as a big break up can bring out feelings, thoughts and emotions that you never knew existed. But if you do find yourself at a very low ebb; one where ice cream and your favourite film just won’t do, then it’s very important- no VITAL, that you talk to someone about just how much it is effecting you- if you struggle with this then writing it down may also be a huge help too.

We at Hitched & Ditched are very happy that Katy has Roared back to her best and cannot wait to hear more from the California Gurl.



Textual Un-healing: ‘UR DMPD’

19 Jun


Katy Perry has a body most women can only dream of and a vibrant attitude to life we all wish would greet us on a Monday morning. And many men would enjoy having a play with her whipped cream cans, so it’s pretty refreshing to know that the California Gurl shares something pretty close to our Ditched’s less-than-double-D chest:being dumped by text. Totally not LOL…

My ex was a douche. So him pulling the plug on our short but sweet dalliance via the medium of text shouldn’t have surprised me really, but boy oh boy OH BOY was I wrong. I’m a savvy young woman, so I knew things were less than blissful, but just like the first tinglings of thrush, I chose to ignore it until it got horrific.

But rather than shoving a pessery up my soon-to-be ex fellas nose, I carried on my merry little dance of denial until he crashed my inbox with heartbreak and deleted himself out of my contacts.

Katy Perry admitted recently that Russell Brand asked for a divorce in a text message (ok KT yours is ten times worse than mine) but does this highlight how the digital age has given guys an even easier get out route. It wasn’t so long ago that we all had to make the move to digital TV’s; have men received a similar nudge in terms of textual dumping?

Breaking up will always be a bitch, but you would kick up a fuss if the same un-courtesy was shown when finding out you didn’t get the job, or that you actually did have that icky STD ( ok ok you can find out about your sexual health via text…. Not that I’d know…ahem)
The whole thing just screams ‘I can’t be bothered’ or ‘it will be far too awkward for me in person’

Great: not only do I have raging PMS, period pains that resemble labour, a rib that dislocates randomly and an acute addition to wearing lipgloss, but now I have to worry about a relationship ending via the beepity beep beep of my mobile telephone.

For months I kept that little text message and gave the guys from CSI New York a run for their money, as I tried to piece together just why it happened; the answer- he was an emotional simpleton who got bored pretty easily. But what should you do if it ever happens to you?

1. Do NOT reply: no matter how tempting, if he has shown you a lack of respect than don’t bother to waste your text allowance on that jerk, plus it will drive him mad!
2. Delete his digits: and that text, if he’s moving on then so should you.
3. Ask yourself ‘what would Katy do?: write a kick ass tune, rock a blue hair do and be insanely positive.

Lts of Luv Ditched


Exceptional Exes

4 Nov


There are some things in life we all have; hopes, dreams, at least one season of The OC on DVD, an annoying bit of hair that roams free from all the others, and of course those dreaded exes. But what happens to those people who you once laughed with, cried over and possibly threw up on? Can they ever truly play a leading role in your life after fluffing their lines oh so many moons ago?

Miss Independent says…          Who’d have thought that me and Katy Perry would have something in common; no, not an amazingly pert rack and love of all things candy, but turning the grand old age of 28 recently. (pulls out grey hair with tweezers) Now while I enjoyed a comedy t-shirt and delicious cookie cake from my older brother, Katy reportedly received a gold bracelet and a meditation cushion from her big bouffanted estranged hubby Russell Brand.

Guys have only ever given me jewellery during a serious romance; by serious I mean the sex dies off and you begin to wonder why this person is constantly wanting to hang around with you, but it was still a nice gesture non the less. But for an ex to buy you such lovely gifts says one of two things; they either genuinely care for you that much as a person, or they are quite possibly see you as the one that got away.

Katy and Russell experienced a relationship more intense than five goes on the Oblivion after a Starbucks espresso, resulting in a quick divorce and pictures of Russell roaming LA with a bevy of pretty ladies, while dressed as the Dhali Jesus. But his gold token of friendship surely shows that the California girl is still a huge firework in his life, even though the teenage dream is over. (too much? Ah just go with it)

All this present giving and treating your former lover in a nice manner got me a thinking about my exes, and the stark reality is that only one would be an important part of my life if I chose to let him. I’m no Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian; you won’t catch me dating a different dude each day, month or year, and I have only experienced 2 long term relationships, one near miss and 10-12 in-between time fillers for those cold Winter nights. So classing any of these geezers as an exceptional ex would be difficult, no matter how much bling he bought me.

It always fascinates me how one minute you are closer than Bear Grylls’ to a snakes fangs, and the next you have ‘Somebody that I used to know’ as the soundtrack to your life. I mean would you just go cold turkey on a mate and stop texting them if they started to annoy you? Well unless they left some Weetabix to congeal in a bowl overnight then the answer would be no, so to blankety blank someone who has seen you in the all together is a situation that always amazes me. But the defining factor there is S.E.X; if you aren’t bouncing around on his Johnson anymore, then why would he care if you are feeling a little low today?

A good man is like gold dust, but a good ex can only be compared to locating Creme Eggs in the middle of December; impossible, unrealistic and a huge let down. My message to Ms Perry? I say embrace it with those double D’s, but be prepared for a Hot then Cold relationship.