Here’s the very first post from our brand new Hitched – Mrs Sam Harwood… take it away Sam!
Wow – what a question. But I feel I must start this post with a disclosure – I’m writing with a cold. Not quite man flu, but I feel poorly and vulnerable. So right now being married means appreciating having a live-in pharmacist and feeling comfortable enough to not hide my face covered in snot and Vaseline.
If I were to answer this question on a different day, in a different mood would my answer change? Marriage changes over time and through the good and bad situations, but does the meaning?
Marriage to me is about family – starting your own new family unit of two and either breaking away from your old family or extending on it. On my side we extended it. I didn’t just get a husband but my Dad got a son, my Nan got another grandchild and my sister an annoying big brother. Overall I think they like it.
It’s also means to me having someone on your side –note not always, Nik is certainly not a push over and when I’m wrong (although I never am!) he voices it. But generally I love having my backup support system. After a long day at work and an extremely annoying colleague I relay my story and whether he understands, and or, cares Nik always has my back. And the very next evening he will do the same again. Yes I love bitching with my girlfriends, but if I called them every night to do it, how long would it be before my calls reached their voicemail?
Although I have played the role of Little Miss Confidence the truth is a very different matter and my support system has slowly helped with that, probably without him ever knowing!
I have very recently been asked to be a bridesmaid and for the research of this post I turned to my newly engaged friend and asked the same question to determine whether my views have changed. I have been married for four years – it’s a long way off a lifetime but beats Britney’s 55 hours and Kim K and Kris Humphries 72 days! Her answer was simple; marriage meant the ultimate commitment – the forever.
My thoughts exactly, so perhaps what marriage to me doesn’t change, maybe you lose sight of what it means when you argue over money or the washing up. But overall you have made the ultimate commitment and yes there is means of escape. I’m not afraid of divorce and will always promote the “divorce is better than an unhappy marriage” message. But right now I type as a lucky girl, happy in my marriage. But at the same time you must feel like it is forever, if you feel you have an easy means of escape you may not put in the work marriage needs.
Like every marriage is different, so are our meanings. But this is mine. Now I turn to you – what does your marriage mean to you?